idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
