mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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