i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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