Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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