It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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