well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
