haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
