i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
