i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
