marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
