my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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