She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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