somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
