Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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