OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we're so committed to being not committed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
