I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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