remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
