He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
