It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
