i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
