You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They are going to name an STD after you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
