eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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