right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
