sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize