shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Your tits are I can't wait for
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
