Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
and you fell through a lawn chair
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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