sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
