Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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