i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
