i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
