I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
