we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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