Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize