That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i think my tv is drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
