I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
