just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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