I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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