I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
soo... how was my night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
