He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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