Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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