The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Randomize
