my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
