did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
