You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize