I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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