I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
