I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
