soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
they're like a gay fantastic four
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize