He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
