I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
