Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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