fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize