How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
