It's Friday. Sex?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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