1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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