How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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