I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The adults are the big ones right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
