HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
