God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
