Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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