booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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