So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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