She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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