Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
