ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
