playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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