I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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