O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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