Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize